The RelationshipQuestions
New relationship questions

New relationship questions

For the first ninety days, when everything is still unfolding.

The start of something is all discovery. You are learning a whole person, and the questions you ask now set the tone for everything after.

These are for the first few months: the getting-to-know-you ones, the gentle where-is-this-going ones, and the values that are worth knowing before you fall all the way in.

New relationship / Where this is going

What is one thing you need to feel safe getting closer?

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The first few weeks

  1. 1What made you want to see me again after the first time?
  2. 2What is something you were nervous to tell me but did anyway?
  3. 3What has surprised you most about me so far?
  4. 4What is your favorite moment of ours so far?
  5. 5How do you know when you actually like someone?
  6. 6What made you realize you wanted something real with me?
  7. 7What is something you are still a little shy to do around me?
  8. 8What do you catch yourself thinking about after we say goodnight?
  9. 9What is a habit of mine you have already noticed?
  10. 10What is something you want me to learn about you slowly?
  11. 11What made you say yes to a first date with me?
  12. 12What is the best part of getting to know someone new?
  13. 13What are you most curious about when it comes to me?
  14. 14What is a small thing I have done that stuck with you?

Getting to know them

  1. 15What is a story about you that most people never hear?
  2. 16What did your childhood bedroom look like?
  3. 17Who in your life knows you best, and how?
  4. 18What is something you are quietly proud of?
  5. 19What is a fear you have carried since you were young?
  6. 20What does a perfect ordinary day look like for you?
  7. 21What is the last thing that made you cry?
  8. 22What are you like when no one is watching?
  9. 23What is a dream you have not given up on?
  10. 24What is the hardest thing you have been through?
  11. 25What do you do when you are really stressed?
  12. 26What is a small thing that instantly makes your day better?
  13. 27Who shaped the way you see the world?
  14. 28What is a topic you could talk about for hours?
  15. 29What is a part of yourself you are still figuring out?
  16. 30What is something you changed your mind about recently?

Where this is going

  1. 31What are you actually looking for right now?
  2. 32How do you usually know a relationship is worth it?
  3. 33What does taking it slow mean to you?
  4. 34What would make you feel sure about us?
  5. 35What scares you a little about starting something new?
  6. 36What does being exclusive mean to you?
  7. 37What is one thing you need to feel safe getting closer?
  8. 38What has the start of this felt like for you?
  9. 39What would you want our next few months to look like?
  10. 40What is a pace that feels right to you?
  11. 41What do you hope we become?
  12. 42What is something you want to be honest about early?

Values and deal breakers

  1. 43What is a value you will not compromise on?
  2. 44What is an absolute deal breaker for you?
  3. 45How do you handle it when you are upset with someone?
  4. 46What does loyalty mean to you?
  5. 47How important is family in your life?
  6. 48What do you need from a partner to feel loved?
  7. 49What is something you need alone time for?
  8. 50How do you feel about big life changes?
  9. 51What is a boundary you hold firmly?
  10. 52What did your last relationship teach you?
  11. 53What do you want that you would never settle on?
  12. 54What is your relationship with money like?

Fun and flirty

  1. 55What did you think when you first saw me?
  2. 56What is the most attractive thing someone can do?
  3. 57What do you find yourself noticing about me?
  4. 58What is your idea of a perfect date with me?
  5. 59What made you smile about me today?
  6. 60What is a song that reminds you of this so far?
  7. 61What is your favorite thing we have done together yet?
  8. 62What would you want to do on a lazy weekend with me?
  9. 63What is something you have been meaning to say to me?
  10. 64What is the fastest way to your heart?
  11. 65What do you think we would be like on a road trip?
  12. 66What is a tiny thing I do that you like?
  13. 67Where would you take me if you could plan anything?
  14. 68What are you looking forward to most with me?

Building trust early

  1. 69What helps you open up to someone new?
  2. 70What is the fastest way for someone to lose your trust?
  3. 71What do you need to hear when you are feeling unsure?
  4. 72How do you like to be reassured?
  5. 73What is something you find hard to ask for?
  6. 74When do you tend to pull back, and why?
  7. 75What is a promise you try hard to keep?
  8. 76How do you show someone you are serious about them?
  9. 77What is something you are trusting me with already?
  10. 78What makes you feel safe enough to be honest?
  11. 79What is a way I could let you down without knowing it?
  12. 80What do you want to be able to count on from me?

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