Questions to get to know your partner
For knowing them all the way down, not just the surface.
You can know someone's coffee order and still not know what keeps them up at night. Really knowing a person takes better questions.
These go past the surface: their inner world, their past, their dreams, and the small things that add up to a whole person.
Get to know them / Their dreams
What would you name the life you have not lived yet?
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Their inner world
- 1What do you daydream about when your mind wanders?
- 2What is a thought that keeps circling back to you lately?
- 3What do you tell yourself on the days you doubt yourself?
- 4How do you talk to yourself when no one is listening?
- 5What does peace actually feel like inside your head?
- 6What is a version of you that only comes out when you are alone?
- 7What do you notice about yourself that you think I miss?
- 8What emotion do you hide the best, even from me?
- 9What do you rehearse in your head before a hard conversation?
- 10What is a feeling you have never quite found the right word for?
- 11What goes through your mind in the seconds after you wake up?
- 12What do you do in your head to talk yourself down?
- 13What is the quietest part of you that I have not met yet?
- 14What runs through your mind on a long drive alone?
- 15What is a worry you carry quietly, most days?
- 16What do you wish your own mind would just let go of?
Their past
- 17What is an object from your childhood you wish you still had?
- 18What is the first song you remember truly loving?
- 19Which teacher shaped you in a way they never knew?
- 20What is a smell that instantly pulls you back to being a kid?
- 21What is the earliest memory you actually trust is real?
- 22What did you get in trouble for the most as a kid?
- 23What is a meal from your childhood that still tastes like home?
- 24What is a photo of you as a kid that says a lot?
- 25What was pinned to your wall as a teenager?
- 26What is a place from your childhood that does not exist anymore?
- 27What did you write in the back of your old notebooks?
- 28What was your walk home from school like?
- 29Who is a relative you wish you had known better?
- 30What did you keep in your pockets as a kid?
Their favorites
- 31What is your favorite word to say out loud?
- 32What song do you never skip, no matter your mood?
- 33What time of day feels the most like you?
- 34What kind of weather do you secretly love getting stuck in?
- 35What smell instantly puts you completely at ease?
- 36Which piece of clothing will you never let yourself throw away?
- 37What do you like most about your own name?
- 38What is your favorite way to be woken up?
- 39Which season feels the most like home to you?
- 40What is your favorite kind of quiet?
- 41What is the most satisfying way to kill exactly ten minutes?
- 42What is a small luxury you never feel guilty about?
- 43What is your favorite thing to look at when you are thinking?
- 44What is your favorite kind of laugh to get out of me?
Their dreams
- 45What is something you would attempt if you knew you could not fail?
- 46If you could master any craft overnight, what would you choose?
- 47What imaginary version of yourself do you wish people could meet?
- 48What would you study if grades and money did not matter at all?
- 49What recognition do you secretly hope you earn one day?
- 50What is the boldest thing you would do with total anonymity?
- 51What is a talent you wish had been noticed sooner?
- 52What conversation do you still hope to have with someone someday?
- 53What is the wildest place your imagination takes you when you let it?
- 54What would you build if resources were never the problem?
- 55What is a title or role you have always secretly wanted?
- 56What is something you want to be brave enough to try this year?
- 57What kind of person do you hope this next decade turns you into?
- 58What would you name the life you have not lived yet?
How they love
- 59What do you do the moment you realize you trust someone completely?
- 60How do you know the difference between being loved and being needed?
- 61What makes you finally let your guard down with someone?
- 62What is the smallest gesture that convinces you someone truly cares?
- 63How do you let someone know they are forgiven before you say it?
- 64What do you do without thinking when someone you love is hurting?
- 65What is harder for you, saying I love you or proving it?
- 66What did loving someone teach you that surprised you?
- 67What is something about how you love that has only gotten braver with time?
- 68What do you find yourself doing for people you love without being asked?
- 69What does it look like when you finally feel completely safe with someone?
- 70What is the bravest way you have ever loved someone?
- 71How do you love someone when you are still learning to love yourself?
The little things
- 72What is a tiny habit of yours that you do not even notice anymore?
- 73What is the first thing you do the second you walk in the door?
- 74What phrase do you say so often that I could say it for you?
- 75What is a small task you always do the exact same way?
- 76What tiny thing do you do when you are trying not to laugh?
- 77What is something you always do twice, just to be sure?
- 78What is the last thing you check before you leave the house?
- 79What do you do in the first five minutes of being awake?
- 80What is a small object you always seem to have on you?
- 81What small gesture of yours would give you away in a crowd?
- 82What is a small sound that instantly gets your attention?
- 83What do you always straighten or fix without even thinking about it?
- 84What do you do with your hands when you are deep in thought?
- 85What tiny thing do you fidget with when you are nervous?
