Questions to ask your partner
A little of everything, from a first date to fifty years in.
If you are not sure where to start, start here. This is a mix from every deck, the ones that work no matter how long you have been together.
Follow any section to its full deck when one lands well. There is no right order, only the next good question.
Deep
- 1What do you think about when you can't sleep?
- 2What have you been thinking about a lot lately but not saying out loud?
- 3What do you believe that most people around you don't?
- 4What is your favorite memory of us that I might not expect?
- 5What was your first impression of me, honestly?
- 6If we could relive one day together, which one would you pick?
- 7Which family tradition do you want to keep, and which should end with you?
- 8What did your parents get right?
- 9What does your dream life look like in ten years, honestly?
- 10If money stopped mattering tomorrow, what would you do with your days?
- 11What does making it mean to you?
- 12How did you learn what love looks like?
- 13How do you want to be comforted when you are sad?
- 14When in your life have you felt truly understood?
- 15When have I hurt you without realizing it?
- 16When did you last cry, and what was it really about?
Fun
- 17What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done for love?
- 18Who is to blame for your worst habit?
- 19What is the weirdest thing you have ever searched online at 2am?
- 20Would you rather give up cheese or give up chocolate forever?
- 21Would you rather be the funniest person in the room or the smartest?
- 22If we won the lottery tomorrow, what would you buy first?
- 23If you had a talking pet, what would it say about you?
- 24If your life had a warning label, what would it say?
- 25What is a food you loved as a kid but cannot stand now?
- 26Window seat or aisle seat, and why does it matter so much to you?
- 27What ridiculous thing do you still get excited about like a kid?
- 28What is the silliest reason you have ever fallen for someone?
- 29What song do you secretly know every single word to?
- 30What is the most ridiculous thing you would do for a free meal?
Love
- 31What is the first thing you do when you want me to feel loved?
- 32When do you feel the pull to just reach for my hand?
- 33How do you love me on a completely ordinary Tuesday?
- 34What do you think almost stopped us from ever getting together?
- 35How did your friends react when they found out about us?
- 36What is a moment from our story that still makes you laugh?
- 37When do you feel most swept up in me?
- 38Do you fall harder for the right words or the right actions?
- 39What part of loving me comes easily to you and what part takes real effort?
- 40What does it mean to choose someone on a day you do not feel like it?
- 41What is your favorite way we have ever celebrated an anniversary?
- 42What is one way you want us to mark next year that we have never tried?
For couples
- 43What's one thing that felt easy about today?
- 44What's something you've been meaning to tell me?
- 45What's something you're curious about right now?
- 46What do we do as a couple that you're quietly proud of?
- 47What's something we accomplish together that neither of us could pull off solo?
- 48What's a nickname for us that should exist but doesn't?
- 49If we had a catchphrase as a couple, what would it be?
- 50What's one thing I could do that would make this feel more real to you?
- 51What's a boundary you want us to respect from the start?
- 52What have you learned about love from staying with one person this long?
- 53What's a compliment you've stopped saying out loud that I should hear again?
- 54What's one thing we should plan for the week ahead?
For him
- 55What is something you wish I understood about you?
- 56What is the hardest thing you are dealing with right now?
- 57What is your go-to karaoke song, no shame?
- 58What was going through your head on our first date?
- 59What do you wish I did more often?
- 60What is the bravest thing you did before me?
- 61What is a goal you have not told anyone about?
- 62What do I do that you find impossible to resist?
- 63What is something you have been wanting to tell me?
- 64What is the best part of your day so far?
For her
- 65What makes you feel like my girlfriend and not just someone I am dating?
- 66What is a love story you grew up watching that shaped what you wanted?
- 67What do you carry that you never put down, even around me?
- 68What compliment about your mind would mean more to you than one about your looks?
- 69What is the worst gift you would still pretend to love?
- 70What is one way this relationship has changed you for the better?
- 71What did you believe about love as a teenager that you know now is not true?
- 72Where do you picture us living when we are finally settled?
- 73What is a small thing I do that you find unfairly charming?
- 74What made you decide to actually give this a real shot?
